first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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