My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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