I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
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Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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