Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up