why didn't you poke me back
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.