Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY