The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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