chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
