I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize