Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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