singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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