I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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