Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize