i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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