Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We left the knife in your bed.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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