You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..