she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?