Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug