Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.