If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.