That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize