my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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