nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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