Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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