I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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