4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
