It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
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