So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize