I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I wish there were birth control emojis
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.