Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator