Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming