Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap