we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
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By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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