apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize