my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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