"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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