sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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