His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
COCAINE IS GR8
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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