found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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