What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Randomize
