Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.