so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
