I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
