sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
