just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
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