My hair reeks of homosexuality.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Houston, we have a blender
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize