WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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