What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
