drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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