...so i touched it.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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