I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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