if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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