My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
