I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.