is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.