you suck at this game today
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.