My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!