hotties wanna shake it
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird