this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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