sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
