I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
