I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
