She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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